Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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