And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
