We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
