if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
im holly from the hills drunk
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
At least life still wants to fuck me.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
