they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
