now i know why i became what i already was.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
