I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
