dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
