His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
