You made me cry and you don't even care
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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