Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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