I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
