If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
