Whod you bang
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
