so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
