i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
