Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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