the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
