i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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