Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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