Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I feel like abortions should bother me more
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
