Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
