I heard we made out
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
