i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
