home. puking in laundry basket.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
