i just wanna soil my oats bro
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
