who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
