I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
and you fell through a lawn chair
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
