she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
