did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
