You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
