nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
