She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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