Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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