There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
