party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
