Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
