An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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