1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Jerry, you need to find god
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize