her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
