Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
