There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
