Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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