Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize