so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
