I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
