no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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