If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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