come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
