??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
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