Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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