Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
they're like a gay fantastic four
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
