My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I will be naked everywhere
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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