just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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