you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
