Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
