I wish I could punch you in the face.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
