When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Randomize
