you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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