Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
