what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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