idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
