they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
