And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
